One of the most significant issues faced by the couple going through a divorce is how to raise resilient and healthy kids. This is not an easy task and couples look at all possible sources for answers but never even look at their kids for even once. In fact, it is seen that the kids themselves have the best answers most of the times.
It is not good to grow up with divorced parents and therefore think about it several times before you finally sign on the divorce agreement. Consider your kids, their emotions and what they want you to know, as a desperate attempt to make you two stay together.
- No matter whatever be the reason for your divorce, kids will want you to know that you are not bad or failed as a parent.
- Moreover, your marriage is certainly not a determining factor for your skill as a parent and therefore it should not change the way you consider yourself as a parent.
- If at all, if you remain a good mom or a dad in spite of the stress and trials of a divorce, it will give you even more credibility as a parent.
Kids will want you by their side even after you two are separated. Therefore, make sure that you are there albeit independently for your kids.
A little secret
You may be a truly well-adjusted person but, in your core, just like all other people, you are a little crazy. This goes for even those people who seem to be painstakingly normal. The higher rates of unhappiness and neurosis in children are common and all of these are not a result of a divorce. There may be several other issues. Every family has issues and in fact the rate of neurosis is even higher in children of intact marriages as compared to those grown with a divorced parent.
Therefore, if you are going through a divorce do not waste all your time and energy worrying about how your children will be affected as a result of your divorce. Instead, utilize this energy to be self-controlled and self-aware as you raise them. If you can become a devoted parent and committed to creating stability for your kids, they will be just fine, as fine as any other kid.
A simple advice
Just follow simple advice. You should keep all the bitterness, harsh words, frustrations and sour thoughts entirely between you two so that it does not affect the kids. At this juncture, you should Know A Few Specific Things about kids.
- They are just like little sponges that will soak everything that you say and every bit of the energy you put out.
- They will grow up with a heart full of the things they heard as a child making them act differently from others.
- The decisions that you make will eventually shape their future.
Remember, you may have lost your marriage but not yourself. Therefore, when you are strong enough and the dust settles, make sure that you accomplish any dreams that you may have put on hold.
Listen to the needs
Just as you will need to listen to the needs of your kids, you will also need to consider your needs as well. As you may know that relationship with your kid or kids is precious especially after a divorce. However, along with it you will need to put in work apart from being there for them.
Kids need their parents, whether they are together or not. Therefore, fight for some time and spend it with your kids, as that is one of the most significant things that your kids want from you. Since kids are just like those everlasting diamonds, they need some strong influence from both parents that will make them absolutely sparkle.
The effects last for generations
The effects of divorce last generations. Therefore, you should be very considerate about the schedule and needs of your kids. This is because your kids will have a very tough time seeing both the parents and different sets of grandparents. It will be stressful and if it is a regular feature then it can even become boring after a couple of sessions.
- In addition to that, you should treat your kids with respect and make it a point that you raise them to be smart and thoughtful individual.
- You must also treat then as capable of compassion and understanding so that they eventually grow up to be like that exactly.
Therefore, more than your kids only, treat them as individual people so that they grow to be an individual.
Listen to them carefully as a divorce attorney port st Lucie fl would listen to you to bring out the best outcome from such difficult situations, in both ways. Therefore, listen to what your kids say and answer their questions earnestly and honestly.